Some women and men to escape their stalkers move to different states, cities, countries and even continents. Now, if I owned an airline I’d take advantage of this and air commercials that said: Don’t let the fact that your obsession moved far away prevent you from stalking her. Call Stalker’s Air, the official airline for stalkers, and sign up for your frequent stalker miles. And if you use our American Express Frequent Stalker miles card you’ll get double miles whenever you buy gas, stay in a motel, and buy surveillance equipment.

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