Santa Clause was pulled over the other night by the Satellite Beach Police Department for D.U.I. Santa claimed he was doing a dry run to prepare for Christmas night.  The officers claimed their was nothing dry about Santa Clause that night, noting that they smelled the very strong odor of alcohol coming from his breath, which Santa stated was non-alcoholic Egg Nog. But the red nose, the officers said was a dead giveaway.  Santa was found riding his sleigh on the beach, since there was no snow.  Actually he had come to a rest, but the officers from Satellite claimed he was in actual physical control even if there was no ignition for a key to even go in.  All the officers, who by now numbered quite a few, agreed that drunk or sober, Santa probably wasn’t a good candidate for the Field Sobriety Exercises, and Santa said he had two bad knees from a chimney accident the year before.  The HGN was useless since Santa had a doctor’s note that said he always had Nystagmus caused by a head injury going down a different chimney.  Then the officers began debating whether a sleigh was in fact a vehicle.  Santa offered to take a breath test, but said he would also want a blood test, because he had heard from some friends who were lawyers that the Breath Test Machine was unreliable. That pretty much convinced the officers that maybe the Egg Nog was non-alcoholic, and they decided to give Santa a warning to slow down his sleigh.  Santa agreed.  The real reason the officers let Santa go was they had just gotten a call that two Melbourne Beach police officers were in hot pursuit of two elves driving a Monte Carlo at a very high rate of speed, and were now heading into Satellite Beach.  The Elves were eventually caught and arrested for Aggravated Fleeing and Eluding.

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