LANCE ARMSTRONG MUST RELINQUISH HIS TITLE AS FASTEST TRICYCLIST AND FASTEST BIG WHEEL RIDER ON THE BLOCK

Lance Armstrong, the neighborhood winner in many tricycle races in Plano, Texas has been stripped of his title as “Fastest Tricyclist Rider in the Neighborhood.” He is also no longer considered the “Fastest Big Wheel Rider in the Neighborhood”  “As a toddler and a preadolescent no one could come close to Lance on a tricycle or a Big Wheel,” said neighborhood competitor Steven Long. “We always thought there was something strange about him always winning,” said Susan Clark who lived on the same street as Lance when they were growing up. “He was always popping what we thought were Tic Tacs at the time, into his mouth,” said Lou Bass, Lance’s next door neighbor when they were kids. “Apparently the green Tic Tacs were actually “Greenies,” and the white ones were Ritalin, and there were others too, said Randy Green who lived around the corner from Lance. “Too many to keep track of,” said Diane Lefkowitz.  “We always thought he was taking too many Tic Tacs. Figured he was just obsessively worried about having bad breath,”  said Larry Hynes. But now the truth is out, and Johnny Frink now bares the titles of  Fastest Tricyclist and Big Wheel Rider in the neighborhood.  “I just wish we had known sooner,” said Frink, “coming in second all the time scarred me for life.”

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