The baldness no longer bothers me. But ever since I shaved my head pimples have been breaking out on my face. In fact, ever since I turned thirty-five I have been legally bald, but I still get pimples. Despite the death of my hair, which exemplifies my obvious aging, my skin still gets nostalgic for my teenage years and every few months I get a huge zit on the tip of my nose that makes me look like Bozo the Clown. The Bozo zit usually lasts about a month. I also get another huge zit that is strategically placed in between my eyes giving the impression that I have a third eye. This “third eye-zit” appears every six months and usually lasts a week. On certain overlapping weeks I’m Bozo the clown with a third eye. There should be a Law of Nature that states that once a person becomes Legally Bald all Zits disappear. I shouldn’t at thirty-five, and now forty-two, have the hair of a fifty-year old and the skin of a fifteen year old. That should be against the law. A person should not get Middle Aged Zits.

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