RED PEN RAGE

You are not allowed to use a blue ink pen for any real estate transactions. You have to use a number two pencil when taking standardized tests. It’s better to use a blue ink pen when filing paperwork with the clerk’s office so you can tell which one is the original. Assuming that any of these writing utensil rules matter, one thing that is certain is everybody is afraid of the dreaded red pen.

Anytime anyone has seen me getting ready to use a red pen they give me horrible looks. They freak out. They can’t believe it.  Like it’s against the law. Every time I use a red pen I feel guilty, like I’m doing something wrong that it’s taboo.

In a strange case in Pensacola, Florida, a man who went to Jiffy Lube to get his oil changed watched as the Jiffy Lube employee used a red pen to fill out a diagnostic check of the man’s vehicle. The man became enraged and after being handed the diagnostic check grabbed the Jiffy Lube employee’s red pen and stabbed the employee in the neck with it. The pen went thru the man’s jugular vein causing instant death.

At trial, the man’s defense attorney argued insanity claiming that the red pen brought back childhood memories of all his math tests and quizzes that were covered with red Xs and other red markings, and that the man literally saw ‘red’ and attacked.

The Psychiatrist for the man testified: The fear of red pens is instilled in us during grade school and carries into our adult years. It reminds us of being wrong, and can have devastating effects on people who have been more wrong than others.

The man was found guilty and the verdict form had a red check in the Guilty box.

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