SUPREME COURT OKAYS ANAL PROBE FOR SEATBELT TICKETS

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The Supreme Court ruled yesterday in a 5 to 4 decision that it is okay for police to conduct Anal probes on citizens ticketed for not wearing their seatbelts. “Click-it or get a Colonoscopy.” Justice Kennedy, speaking for the majority said, “People who do not wear seatbelts cost us millions of dollars a year in health care. And if they’re not able to do something as simple as wearing a seatbelt then they’re definitely not taking care of themselves. So I do not see how a Colonoscopy is an invasion of one’s privacy.” Justice Scalia in a scathing dissent said to the majority, “You’re all full of shit.”

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