VERY SPECIAL INTEREST GROUPS

B.A.T.

 There are so many groups who protest so much stuff. People especially like to protest movies, and sometimes they even bring lawsuits against the producers of movies. The producers of Batman have finally made a good movie, but not everybody is happy about it. A group of Billionaires is tired of the stereotype that all billionaires are superheroes who dress up in costumes and wear tights. So a group headed by Donald Trump, Stephen Jobs, Gerald Ford and Bill Gates have gotten together and plan on bringing an injunction to stop the production of the next Batman movie. The name of the group is B.A.T.: Billionaires Against Tights, and the group is reported to be very well funded.

 ADDL

The Anti-Defamation of Dinosaur league is up in arms again. First they protested the Flintstones for stereotyping all Dinosaurs as stupid. Then they protested Jurassic Park for depicting Dinosaurs as evil-killers. Next they protested Barney because no self-respecting Dinosaur would ever wear purple. And now they’re not too happy about the Dinosaur Detective series books authored by Eric Garcia, and they plan to sue for damages. ‘Basically, human beings are clueless when it comes to characterizing dinosaurs,” said one member.

 

D.A.D.D.

   A very bizarre post-Halloween party accident occurred in the early morning in Palm Bay, Florida. Two cars collided head-on on Palm Bay Road and the driver of one of the cars was dressed in a Barney costume and the other driver in a Dino costume. Though, miraculously no serious injuries were reported both Barney and Dino were arrested for DUI. Blood tests revealed that Barney was .215 and Dino was .185. It was Dino’s third DUI and Barney’s first.

The accident caused renewed interest in the oldest Drunk Driving activist group: D.A.D.D.: Dinosaurs Against Drunk Driving, who had thought the Dinosaur Drinking problem had ended after Extinction. Actually some Paleontologists believe that Drunk Driving Dinosaurs may be what caused extinction. (D.A.D.D. should not be confused with a group that receives so little attention you wouldn’t even know they exist: Dads Against Drunk Driving).

L.A.W.

Homeland Security finally cracked down on members of a terrorist group that has been inactive for the last fifteen years, but in the early 90′s when jobs for lawyers were scarce was responsible for certain mishaps that resulted in the deaths of a number of lawyers throughout the country.

The group was made up of a bunch recent law school graduates, never-employed lawyers, and unemployed lawyers. There plan had been to blow up every law school in the country and as many law firms as necessary so the job market would become less saturated. The name of the group was L.A.W. standing for  Lawyers After Work.

L.A.W. decided not to destroy certain Law Firms that paid very well but instead to target some of the associates and partners of those firms and start knocking them off one by one. After that they’d apply for a job at one of those big firms where some openings had mysteriously just been made available. Though the group never set off any bombs fifty arrests were made for partners in big law firms that obtained their jobs after the death of prior employees of those firms.


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